A letter to Ex-bestfriend

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I was going through my old chest today at home and a lot of stuff in it involved you, and it sent me back to the good times and I almost texted you you… I DID!

But then I realised that you are a stranger to me now, isn’t it ?
well it was,it is too hard to believe that the cycle somehow got completed, NO?
The one from ‘strangers to bestfriends to strangers’ back again!

I still remember meeting you on that day of college when you were late for the lecture, standing on the door asking “may I come in sir”? sorry sorry sorry sorry …..(smiling)

that girl behind my seat, did not talk much,our friendship took a while until we played that game in the library… REMEMBER?

Remember when we would stay awake all night long and talk until one of the family members came up, remember we used to come-up with code names for everything and even for everyone, except us?

remember how you told me that you will make me trust the word best in the bestfriends, cause I never did.?
because I do,I do remember all of that.

how could something so right go so wrong?
We had late night talks about our crushes and other boys whose Crush were we, so cool no?
We were the kind of best friends that everyone wished they had, in their best way possible.
So, when did that end?

During our college times, we spent most of the time together,you were the only one person I always came to the college for, and Vice-versa.(I guess)
it was you who made me believe the word “best in best friends”
I still remember the days when we laughed hard on random silly double meaning jokes.

It’s been months now since we last talked, it’s crazy, no?

In just two years, we went from being inseparable to complete strangers.
If someone would have asked us 2 years ago, if we could see us without each other: ‘we would have laughed and said NOOOO!

But here we are!
and I would be lying if I said, I have not thought about you or I don’t even care ‘cause I do, a lot’!

So many things have happened since we last talked, I wish that I could share it all with you and there have been times when i picked my phone to text or call you but it would strike me then,that you are not that person anymore;
it’s sad because you were that ‘constant person’ in my life.

I also miss being there with your family, being able to call your home “lets go HOME
There are things that I know I shouldn’t have done, same goes for you.
We are both to blame for this unhealthy bond.

I don’t even know who was the faulty one, and I don’t even care – maybe it was me but you should have came to me and you should have shouted at me! But you didn’t.

You know what went wrong, that thought of Mine- That no matter what or how worse the situation gets, no one can ever part us, where I even thought we would never fight, misunderstanding would never overpower us!
But just like others, you made it the bitter truth that people can create misunderstanding even between the strongest Bond, like us.

Losing you never came to my mind, you were “my cuppycake, the Apple of my life”.
Remember people even called us ‘twin‘?
I think we were only children, trying to believe in the goodness of the world around us and honestly now I don’t even consider that a discussion, ‘ to let one argument dictate the rest of our lives was the dumbest thing either of us could have ever done’.

Within one stupid fight, I lost someone who meant,I don’t know, just a lot to me, “I lost you”.
I even want to apology for the things, I don’t even know happened, I did as well(many times)

why our friendship came to such end❓
Not only did we stop being best friends, we stopped meeting, we even stopped speaking.
(I wonder if your heart hurt the way mine did ,all those times I wanted to talk but couldn’t)
If only after that fight and bullshit, we had just hugged and said sorry could that have saved our friendship?
You know what yaara, it hurts, when I saw you with people who once hated you and
I and you” were the only together thing those Times.
But then I think by looking your *happy face*, maybe I was the wrong one for you and they are the best people for you.

You know, they say that some people just are not meant to stay in your lives forever, unfortunately, you were one of those people.
Not everything goes the way it should no matter how much you want it to.
they also say one wrong relationship and you won’t be able to trust people further, but it happened to me always with the word friendship.
See, that is why I never trusted the word best in ‘best friends’.
I think we would have been good by being just friends and you know what ‘Pinky promises are not forever!’
I always knew this best thing would never fit me.
“I also know that you may never see this but I just needed to get it off my chest.”

There was a lot unsaid, a lot that I wish I could have said, so I guess I am writing this to get a closure, for myself.
and yeah I do stalk you on social media whenever I could.

Know that you will always hold a place in my heart and I am down,if you are.
and maybe someday we will come across each other lives again. I HOPE SO!
And remember one more thing you were always wrong that “someday,somewhere, someone will make it alright for you you”.
But now I understand, “make your own someday, be your own someone”.(nobody gives a crap here)

 

Much love,

Ex-best friend. (Yaara)

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Tanuja Dubey

About the Author: Tanuja Dubey

Hey there! I am very normal I swear ❕ Just in love with WORDS❤ Mostly talkative, sometimes quite and those are the times for some ~write-up~

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