unfair and broken

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There is a boy living his normal life, happy and innocent. Excited to play outside with his friends, Always throw his bag after coming home from seemingly boring school. It was as if he had thrown all his worries with that bag. It was not as if he had no worries he had plenty like what if all his friends couldn’t come? i didn’t do my homework today also? i would be scolded if i go late again? He had dreams, dream to have a lot of money, dream to be the king of the world, childish but innocent dreams. As he was growing up he didn’t have anyone to talk to properly and started keeping things to himself, went with boys that had bad habits but he was unaffected. He also had his anxieties, crushes, ideals and then he moved to another town. He noticed that he had no friends here so he started studying really earnestly. He was among the toppers, made some new friends but he noticed that his choices for his friends were always the same and he had a wall that was getting bigger each year, wall of conditions. His friends were toxic, apathetic and selfish who always took things lightly, used to joke around at every thing they notice. He wanted real friends but whenever he made some, he was afraid to be seen with them. He moved again and same thing happened and forgot about his past friends. Whenever he tried calling them they were too busy and only the people he ignored called him. He was having a really difficult time but the college started so new friends were here again. Now he started noticing true nature of people and his friend circle grew smaller. He just was tired of people around him, “their personalities sucks. That guy his face i don’t like he seems arrogant. This person is boring dude.” is what he thought.

College was really far from home. even if he tried he was the type of person that didn’t like talking to people on phone. He tried earlier with his exes, he used to pretend to have a happy time. After coming here he had a crush on a girl but as his nature he made up his mind that he would never get to be with her so whats the point with talking to her. “she is way out of my league “. He met with another girl on college site, used to talk all night, then he found out she is also from the same batch. He went out to dinner with her, walked along the beach but she was not her match at all. she used to talk about her study, her hometown , other boys that talked to her and all kind of things but all these things were pretty boring and dull to him. He stopped going out with her too, used to cry all nights, “i want to die. please send somebody so it can hurt less. why the fuck i should endure it? is there anyone who could hear me>” he cried some more nights and some more to come. He is not able to figure out the reason he cry, is it out of boredom? is it his lonely self ? or is it that he doesn’t like himself the weird, arrogant and awkward personality? He is weird till this day , still doesn’t have many friends but after some time everything calms down. He might cry again but yet he is determined to find the one who doesn’t annoy him, even though he dislike her persona but want to be with her. He is moving forward even if the whole world is piece of shit. this is the fun part isn’t it to find the purpose to live.

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About the Author: Abhishek Kaswan

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